Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Over the past year I have struggled with depression and anxiety more than usual, much coming from health problems and family deaths that left me reeling. In January it finally all hit at once. Everything. 19 years worth of pain that I had been unknowingly repressing and holding in burst out of me. From there I have been working on rebuilding myself and my brain, one thought at a time. I want to share some of the things that have helped me cope with my acute anxiety disorder so maybe I can help other people who are suffering. Therapy. I had bad experiences with a bad therapist as a child, (after my mom died) and it took many years to seek it out again, but now I have a much better therapist and I feel comfortable sharing. Don't settle for a therapist you don't love. It won't help anything. Trust me. There's a perfect one out there for you. Get off social media more. I really noticed a shift in my spirits when I decided to take weekends as time for just me and my husband and friends I could see in person. I realized that the world didn't end when I didn't know what show so and so watched, or what vacation so and so else had come back from. It really helped me reconnect with my new husband. Give back. This one is the most sensible of all. Buy a homeless person food. Shovel a driveway for someone. Be a mentor to someone struggling. When I am down and find myself without much time I like to browse moreloveletters.com and send letters to people with their own struggles. It helps me feel better by adding more love into the world and it also reminds me that my problems, big as they might seem, are not so big that I can't carry them. Spend time with a pet. Our cat Buttercup knows what time is sit down and cuddle time and will make sure I know if I am cooking too late into the evening or doing other things that interrupt his sacred time with me. He makes me pause and appreciate those around me, if just for a few minutes. It can be annoying but I am more grateful than anything. Lean on your friends. This is something that is hard for me. I grew up as an independent child as a result of some of the darker parts of my childhood. I tried to be as isolated and self reliant as I could and that wore me out. It is spiritually exhausting to be lonely. When I learned how to reach out and ask for help my life improved. It is still scary to put my faith in others, but I am getting better at it. Get to know yourself. So much depression and anxiety comes from drowning in SEPs. (Somebody else's problems.) My therapy is helping me set boundaries and say no to things I don't want to do, and in turn I am less anxious and stressed out. My time is becoming MY time. For me, about me, about what I think. Not in a self centered way. but more learning more about myself and how I tick so I can be a better friend, wife, daughter, sister, niece etc. To thine own self be true.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Over the past week I have been insulted, harangued, threatened and worse. Because I dared to tell the world I am not okay with the fact that women's reproductive systems are being more legislated than guns. The fact I have to type this sentence as a woman in 2014 breaks my heart. One of the worst parts? Someone I tried to explain the situation to dismissed it as not her problem, when her very boss was the one who said the very public and very frightening things to me. She just got an IUD. The very type of birth control her boss would take away from her if she could. WAKE UP AMERICA. This isn't someone else's problem. This is your problem, and your brother's, and your mom's, and your doctor's. It's all our problems. I could cite all the statistics of how our infant mortality rate is skyrocketing, the amount of corruption being revealed in police work and on the floor of Congress. I could talk about the growing violence against men in the growing prison systems and as well as the number of deaths of children to self inflicted gun shot wounds. But what's the point? Men and women like the ones I described above are both symptoms of a greater problem. Each person who turns their back on statistics like the ones above is another degree of damnation. Our country is not falling apart. It is being ripped to shreds by a tightly held oligarchy that we are too lazy to do anything about! Well I'm not. I will be there protesting, escorting women into planned parenthood, I will be using my voice. I will no longer be sitting on the sidelines. I have kicked one person out of my life this week over his views and I will do it again if I have to. I will move mountains starting with a single pebble. I will leave you with a very famous poem. First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.